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Dear Harry Been,

the FIFA World Cup 2018 will be assigned to you if you comply with just a few humble demands:

1) During the FIFA World Cup 2018 the Netherlands will be named the Blatterlands.

2) During the FIFA World Cup 2018 a special air traffic corridor above the Netherlands will be kept free for his highness mister Blatter.

3) During the FIFA World Cup 2018 the royal palace at Dam square in Amsterdam will be his highness mister Blatter's home.

4) During the FIFA World Cup 2018 all guests at official FIFA dinners have to bow when his highness mister Blatter arrives. No exceptions will be made for the Dutch royal family.

5) During the FIFA World Cup 2018 the public has to cheer whenever his highness mister Blatter arrives in a stadium. Fans not respecting this rule will be jailed for at least six months.

6) During the FIFA World Cup 2018 capital punishment will be enforced in the Netherlands on all woman (or men) wearing a Bavaria-dress in public.

7) During the FIFA World Cup 2018 FIFA officials and their spouses won't have to pay for their expenses in the P.C. Hooftstraat in Amsterdam.

During the FIFA World Cup 2018 all networks and newspapers in the Netherlands will be extremly positive about FIFA, his highness mister Blatter, and the referees.

9) During the FIFA World Cup 2018 all male babies born in the Netherlands will be named Sepp.

10) At the closing ceremony of the FIFA World Cup 2018 in Amsterdam queen Beatrix will give his highness mister Blatter the most honourable Dutch order.

Please notify me as soon as possible if this acceptable for you.

Yours sincerely, 

Harold Mayne-Nicholls

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Sepp Blatter,